Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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