WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
