The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
