it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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