operation harelip BJ is a go
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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