Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize