You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
