You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
