i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
