I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
