How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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