just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
