I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
