you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
