He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
