Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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