My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
