He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
