State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
