Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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