These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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