This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
