foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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