A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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