I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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