Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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