Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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