so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
