...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
