Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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