I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
