Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
There's even glitter on my cock...
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