I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
