barbara walters just said penis...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize