I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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