The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
