i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
