I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
