Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
