half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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