Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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