At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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