you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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