Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
