it was like his penis was on wheels.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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