i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
