I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
two words...techno handjob
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize