I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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