I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize