you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
