i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
