You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
