I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize