I can't watch pbs sober anymore
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
