I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
