Im at strip club and am horny
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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