so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
