he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
