I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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