She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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